fighting.

"People would see a lot of times fighting as an ugly thing, as a thing that denigrates the human being.  In reality, you see fighting is everything...doesn't matter what it is.  You wake up in the morning.  To get out of bed is a fight, believe it.  So fighting is actually the best thing a man can have in his soul."  --Renzo Gracie, Retired Mixed Martial Arts Fighter and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Black Belt

It was December 8, 2012.  The lights were low and the energy in the building was more electric than a mid-summer thunderstorm.  I had never experienced a live Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) event.  One of my dearest friends and roommate at the time has appreciated it for many years.  He always made it a habit to seek out the best promotion in his local area.  Enter StrikeHard Productions.  I offered to help put together an after party for the first StrikeHard event in Birmingham.  In all honesty, I was not sure what to expect.  People tend to have a perception of fighters and the sport of MMA that sometimes is not very flattering.  That night and moving forward, I began a new journey, and found something very special in the MMA community surrounding StrikeHard.

There was something different about the people residing in this corner of life.  As I became more involved with StrikeHard, I would quickly realize the disparity between perception and reality was vast and tragic.  I would learn that these people and this environment were very different and very authentic.  Naturally, through working at events and visiting gyms, I began to meet more of these fighters and coaches.  I now found myself on the inside of this amazing community.  With many I became friends, and with many it felt more like family.  I began to see within so many of them, a work ethic that was second to none.  Many of these athletes were training some 30 hours a week, all the while maintaining full-time jobs and taking care of families.  I found humility within some of them that the Pope would envy.  They seemed to have an uncanny understanding of their place and their role in the world.  Above all these things, I found heart.  I am referring to the heart that allows one to step into a cage with the door locked from the outside, and drives them to compete physically with the highly skilled athlete standing across that very cage.  The reality is simple; one of these two will lose.  I am referring to the heart that will not allow that athlete to quit after a loss, but compel him to train harder and step in that cage once more.  This is what I found in these men and women.  Though many of them do not realize, this is the heart that inspired me to begin living my life in a way that was more authentic and not back down to the pressure of who dominant culture believes I should be.

After making the decision to come out, I grew comfortable in my skin somewhat quickly.  However, still lingering in the back of my mind was a daunting question:  "How would this new community, which I had come to appreciate and love, respond to my sexuality?"  It was the last remaining group in my life whose thoughts and perceptions were of concern to me.  It was all so new, and the last thing I wanted to do was ever make any of them uncomfortable.  Could it be that I might lose this very group that had inspired me to live a life without the fears that I had been fighting for so long.  Ultimately, I reminded myself of the need to be 100% authentic with everyone in my life.  It was never my goal to intentionally bring it to their attention.  I, however, had resolved that I would never hide or be ashamed of how I was created.  After all, they taught me these very lessons.  Throughout the process, I have gotten the answer to my question, even as recent as three weeks ago.

I began a very simple conversation with one of our athletes over Facebook about a play that was made in that night's baseball game.  This simple "throw away" conversation suddenly became something very different, and having already gotten his permission, I would like to share it with you.  

"Lance, I read your blog every time you post it.  I had the typical southern redneck views before, and I will be honest with you.  The first time I started reading it, I wrote you off (I apologize for that), but after discussing it with Ashley (his girlfriend), she convinced me to read it and have an open mind.  I can't really say I agree with it 100%, but buddy you have my FULL SUPPORT and I applaud you for what you are doing.  The more I read, the more I look up to you for living your life the way you think it is meant to be lived.  I don't judge and it has helped me have a more open mind about homosexuality."

There was something Seth Burgett did not know that night, as he randomly felt inspired to share this message.  I was seriously debating on whether or not I would continue posting to IMOS.  I have never desired to be noise in a conversation, that to many is already blaring like a bad death metal concert.  My hope is to be a voice that brings new light to many who have struggles similar to the ones I endured, as well as to those that simply do not understand or agree with homosexuality.  That night, I was humbled to realize something very special to me personally. I was able to cut through the typical "southern redneck views" and begin to change the heart and mind of at least one.  IMOS came so close to tapping out, but when you have a great guy in your corner like Seth Burgett, you can't help but keep fighting.  Until next time...

I would like to thank Ashley Nash for seeing the heart of IMOS and challenging Seth to continue reading.  I can write all I want, but without people like you believing in the blog, we may have never had this conversation.  Also, thanks to the owner's of StrikeHard who have been 100% supportive from day one.  People, believe me when I say this; these are great men with great integrity.  Finally, thank you to the MMA community that has embraced and respected me and allowed me to be a part of your family.  A blog post could never fully express how much your dedication to a great sport has made me who I am today.